I’m recapping this in writing because I’d like to remember it the way I feel right now…
Remembering the beginning….
I know it was summer when Jarad moved to the house down the road from me, I can’t remember what month or how tall the corn was at the time, but it was warm enough that my girlfriends and I would go drive around the creek in my grandparents golf cart, simply to get out of the house and so we could talk about boys in the privacy of the fields without our parents to hear us. I remember hearing that a family finally moved in the house that had rumors surrounding it. I don’t think I ever knew there were two boys in the family or how close in age they were to me, until I took the chance of going over there to introduce myself. I don’t even know that I was going to introduce myself; I think I had decided to take the drive by approach, scope it out, and look as if I was heading into town, on a golf cart…completely normal, right? Well, as I look back it was silly, but the way things unfolded was not.
I drove by the house, and saw a boy, elbow deep in the random parts of a lawn mower. He was covered in grease, and he surprisingly didn’t seemed all that shocked to see a couple of cute girls pull up on a golf cart, but then again, he was preparing to cruise around on a lawn mower, so I suppose our choices for transportation weren’t all that different.
I can’t remember exactly what was said, beyond “Hi, I live down the road and I thought I should come by to say hello.” I’m assuming it was at that point that Vicki, Jarad’s bustling and energetic mother came scurrying out the front door to introduce herself. Again, I don’t know how the invitations went but Jarad stopped by my house and I stopped by his, and I even took him up to the high school before classes started, just to show him around, get him his locker, and make sure he understood that he was one new kid that I wasn’t going to let fall behind with the “druggies” – I was judgmental then, but it was high school, we all were.
I offered to pick Jarad up for school on a regular basis as well, I drove by his house every morning anyway, it seemed to only make sense. It was only about a 5 minute drive to school but having Jarad there in the mornings, always seemed to make the dread of a stressful day seem a little better. I look back and can’t believe how blind I had been, this perfect boy molding into a perfect man in front of my face and I chose to only accept him as my little brother, and eventually my best friend. I suppose I was molding at the time as well, and Jarad accepted his role as little brother and we teased and fought and wrestled and cared about each other like any good platonic girl/guy relationship should.
We were involved in things together, throughout high school, but I’d never say that one of us was leading the other. I did band, he did chorus, I gave persuasive speeches, he gave humorous, I was writing fiction stories, he was researching history. Each step along the way we were growing with each other, for each other, and for a while, apart from each other.
Until Thanksgiving 2007---
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
I loaded up my car and my dog and headed back to Fremont, I went to my parents house and went bar hopping with my mom, dad, sister and brother in law- by bar hopping I mean we went to two out of the selection of six different bars. I enjoyed a couple pitchers with them and about 11:30 we all went our separate ways.
I was going on to my real home town of North Bend, I was going to stay at Grandmas house so I could drive her back to Fremont for turkey on Thursday, but first I had to make a stop at the only bar in North Bend worth going to. I knew some of my old classmates would be there, and I knew one of those old classmates liked to flirt with me when we were both home over holidays, so I figured it would be an interesting hour.
To my surprise it was much more interesting than I had anticipated. Obviously, since I didn’t get to the bar till almost midnight, everyone was well primed. I talked with a few guys I went to school with, a few girls that were always sweet to me back in the day, and then… I saw Jarad. Actually, I saw Ryan first, Jarad’s partner in crime, the kind of guy who never changes, he was the kind of redneck you couldn’t help but love.
He was near the bar where I was ordering a drink and we exchanged head nods and hellos- something inside of me froze because when I saw him I realized he wouldn’t be here without Jarad and even though I had done a scan of the crowd, Jarad hadn’t jumped out to me, and I realized it was because he wasn’t the short, nervous, geeky kid I had grown up with and loved.
I didn’t pick him out of the crowd because he was older now and ridiculously attractive. He held on to the sweet charming boyish looks he always had, but complimented them with longer hair, a goatee, and well simply the look of a more established man, not a high school boy. I know he saw me, and I know I saw him, but we stalled for a bit… His friend Ryan came up to me again and asked how I was, and I answered with, “is Jarad going to talk to me? I’m nervous” – Ryan shrugged and said I shouldn’t be nervous.
I turned to talk to another person from back in the day and next time I look to my left there was Jarad and Ryan standing in our circle, I panicked again for a moment and acted as if I couldn’t leave the conversation with the other person or it would be rude, I have no idea what that other person was saying to me.
Finally, I looked at Jarad and he said something to the effect of, “What, don’t I get a hello?” – I threw my arms around him, in a one sided hug. In retrospect, it seems he withdrew a little, but still stood and chatted with me for a while, we stepped outside for some fresh air and I couldn’t stop looking at him, taking him in, and smiling, three years was too long to go with out having a conversation with your best friend.
And thirty minutes to catch up at a bar wasn’t enough either, we agreed to go “booz cruising” in his truck for a while since the bar had started to kick everyone out. Ryan, Jarad, and I loaded up in his truck, Ryan had quit drinking and so we agreed he would drive, like the gentleman that Jarad is, he gave me front seat and he and the case of beer he had, crammed into the little fold down back seats of this two door Toyota Truck.
There we were, driving through fields, bringing up old stories, laughing our heads off at all the fun times we had had, we listened to music and talked about whatever things popped into our head. It was the first time in three years I was able to have a conversation with someone and talk about anything and everything without it feeling forced, like we were searching our heads for something to talk about to avoid silence. No, this time it was us searching our heads for something to talk about because we wanted the other person to know everything there was to know and because we knew they would find it interesting or funny or both.
I knew throughout this whole cruising experience that I was happier than I had been in a long time, I knew that I wanted to be close to Jarad any way I could. Finally, we took Ryan home and Jarad and I had the chance to be alone, and to finally spill what we had been holding in for the last three years… I missed you, I love you, I can’t handle three more years without my best friend, I’ve always loved you, and god that hurt when we split. The dialogue was there, but the meaning was the same. Why aren’t we together? In the words of Jarad, Wednesday night became the beginning of a complete and honest MindF*ck.
We ended Wednesday night, or rather Thursday morning, with several innocent kisses, innocent but deadly to me… Jarad and I kissed like we had trained each other the perfect way to kiss. There are some guys that when you kiss for the first time, it’s a little awkward – you have to adjust to the way they kiss and train them to adjust to you, you have to give and take and learn when they are going to peck or open or play. It’s always been somewhat of a learning process with other guys. But with Jarad it was always perfect… we kissed like we were dancing, always in tune with the next step.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thursday was Thanksgiving Day and I spent the morning and early afternoon with my family, enjoying good food, and being entertained by my little cousins. I learned that they are extremely intelligent, a lot smarter than I was at the age of 4- at least I think. I ended up taking Grandma back home to North Bend in the early evening and in the back of my mind couldn’t help but get excited about the fact that I might get to see Jarad again since I was back in the little town. After unsuccessfully trying to nap at Grandmas house and realizing that even after only 4 or so hours of sleep, I couldn’t begin to drift off with the TV that loud. I got up, and decided to drive into the little town of North Bend..
After stopping at the “Mini Mart” and buying a pop, I text Jarad, told him I was in town and went cruising around while I waited for his response. I turned up my music and let myself go, no plans, no intentions, just drove around the little town. I went by my high school, I went by my church, my friends old houses, I cruised what we called the “figure 8” in high school, the little route that all the kids drove while trying to find their friends and find the party.
Finally, I parked at the high school, in the spot where Jarad and I always parked because we never got to school early enough to park in the good spots. I text Jarad and asked that he meet me there. He came and we sat in my car for an hour and again just went back and forth sharing our stories from the past three years and remembering all the stories we shared before that.
He needed to get back to his families thanksgiving events and he asked that I stop and say Hello, as I had done many times years ago. I used to be a part of that family, but this time it seemed a little different. Granted, I hadn’t shown my face to them in three years and things really were different, I got the feeling that they knew I had hurt Jarad once and therefore it would take a little more effort on my part, than to just show up at a family event, if I wanted back in the beautiful and loving cult that is the Chrisman family. I stayed for a cup of coffee, said my hellos and how are you’s and then decided I should go back to my own family. Jarad and I agreed we would meet up later that night in Fremont for drinks.
Current
From there, we spent time together, we went through the ups and downs of beginning a new relationship that was once an old relationship, we learned about the new things and the new people we had both become and we realized that a lot of things about each other hadn’t changed. Jarad and I dated from this point on, after a couple of months of him referring to me as his “friend” to anyone we met, I finally started joking with him and asking if someday he was going to take the next step and make me his Girlfriend, in true Jarad style he gave me the “check yes or no” option in a card on Valentine’s Day. It was very sweet, and he had already checked yes for me! I told him that even in his greeting cards he was pushy, but that I loved him anyway and it was about time we made it official. So three months of ‘dating’ and now it’s been almost 3 months of gf/bf – which to be honest although we have grown in those six months, there wasn’t much change from the first three to the last three, it was more of just a comforting thought to know that both of us were committed.
That is our ‘to be continued’ story… for those of you who might be interested or are at the very least a romantic at heart :)
Remembering the beginning….
I know it was summer when Jarad moved to the house down the road from me, I can’t remember what month or how tall the corn was at the time, but it was warm enough that my girlfriends and I would go drive around the creek in my grandparents golf cart, simply to get out of the house and so we could talk about boys in the privacy of the fields without our parents to hear us. I remember hearing that a family finally moved in the house that had rumors surrounding it. I don’t think I ever knew there were two boys in the family or how close in age they were to me, until I took the chance of going over there to introduce myself. I don’t even know that I was going to introduce myself; I think I had decided to take the drive by approach, scope it out, and look as if I was heading into town, on a golf cart…completely normal, right? Well, as I look back it was silly, but the way things unfolded was not.
I drove by the house, and saw a boy, elbow deep in the random parts of a lawn mower. He was covered in grease, and he surprisingly didn’t seemed all that shocked to see a couple of cute girls pull up on a golf cart, but then again, he was preparing to cruise around on a lawn mower, so I suppose our choices for transportation weren’t all that different.
I can’t remember exactly what was said, beyond “Hi, I live down the road and I thought I should come by to say hello.” I’m assuming it was at that point that Vicki, Jarad’s bustling and energetic mother came scurrying out the front door to introduce herself. Again, I don’t know how the invitations went but Jarad stopped by my house and I stopped by his, and I even took him up to the high school before classes started, just to show him around, get him his locker, and make sure he understood that he was one new kid that I wasn’t going to let fall behind with the “druggies” – I was judgmental then, but it was high school, we all were.
I offered to pick Jarad up for school on a regular basis as well, I drove by his house every morning anyway, it seemed to only make sense. It was only about a 5 minute drive to school but having Jarad there in the mornings, always seemed to make the dread of a stressful day seem a little better. I look back and can’t believe how blind I had been, this perfect boy molding into a perfect man in front of my face and I chose to only accept him as my little brother, and eventually my best friend. I suppose I was molding at the time as well, and Jarad accepted his role as little brother and we teased and fought and wrestled and cared about each other like any good platonic girl/guy relationship should.
We were involved in things together, throughout high school, but I’d never say that one of us was leading the other. I did band, he did chorus, I gave persuasive speeches, he gave humorous, I was writing fiction stories, he was researching history. Each step along the way we were growing with each other, for each other, and for a while, apart from each other.
Until Thanksgiving 2007---
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
I loaded up my car and my dog and headed back to Fremont, I went to my parents house and went bar hopping with my mom, dad, sister and brother in law- by bar hopping I mean we went to two out of the selection of six different bars. I enjoyed a couple pitchers with them and about 11:30 we all went our separate ways.
I was going on to my real home town of North Bend, I was going to stay at Grandmas house so I could drive her back to Fremont for turkey on Thursday, but first I had to make a stop at the only bar in North Bend worth going to. I knew some of my old classmates would be there, and I knew one of those old classmates liked to flirt with me when we were both home over holidays, so I figured it would be an interesting hour.
To my surprise it was much more interesting than I had anticipated. Obviously, since I didn’t get to the bar till almost midnight, everyone was well primed. I talked with a few guys I went to school with, a few girls that were always sweet to me back in the day, and then… I saw Jarad. Actually, I saw Ryan first, Jarad’s partner in crime, the kind of guy who never changes, he was the kind of redneck you couldn’t help but love.
He was near the bar where I was ordering a drink and we exchanged head nods and hellos- something inside of me froze because when I saw him I realized he wouldn’t be here without Jarad and even though I had done a scan of the crowd, Jarad hadn’t jumped out to me, and I realized it was because he wasn’t the short, nervous, geeky kid I had grown up with and loved.
I didn’t pick him out of the crowd because he was older now and ridiculously attractive. He held on to the sweet charming boyish looks he always had, but complimented them with longer hair, a goatee, and well simply the look of a more established man, not a high school boy. I know he saw me, and I know I saw him, but we stalled for a bit… His friend Ryan came up to me again and asked how I was, and I answered with, “is Jarad going to talk to me? I’m nervous” – Ryan shrugged and said I shouldn’t be nervous.
I turned to talk to another person from back in the day and next time I look to my left there was Jarad and Ryan standing in our circle, I panicked again for a moment and acted as if I couldn’t leave the conversation with the other person or it would be rude, I have no idea what that other person was saying to me.
Finally, I looked at Jarad and he said something to the effect of, “What, don’t I get a hello?” – I threw my arms around him, in a one sided hug. In retrospect, it seems he withdrew a little, but still stood and chatted with me for a while, we stepped outside for some fresh air and I couldn’t stop looking at him, taking him in, and smiling, three years was too long to go with out having a conversation with your best friend.
And thirty minutes to catch up at a bar wasn’t enough either, we agreed to go “booz cruising” in his truck for a while since the bar had started to kick everyone out. Ryan, Jarad, and I loaded up in his truck, Ryan had quit drinking and so we agreed he would drive, like the gentleman that Jarad is, he gave me front seat and he and the case of beer he had, crammed into the little fold down back seats of this two door Toyota Truck.
There we were, driving through fields, bringing up old stories, laughing our heads off at all the fun times we had had, we listened to music and talked about whatever things popped into our head. It was the first time in three years I was able to have a conversation with someone and talk about anything and everything without it feeling forced, like we were searching our heads for something to talk about to avoid silence. No, this time it was us searching our heads for something to talk about because we wanted the other person to know everything there was to know and because we knew they would find it interesting or funny or both.
I knew throughout this whole cruising experience that I was happier than I had been in a long time, I knew that I wanted to be close to Jarad any way I could. Finally, we took Ryan home and Jarad and I had the chance to be alone, and to finally spill what we had been holding in for the last three years… I missed you, I love you, I can’t handle three more years without my best friend, I’ve always loved you, and god that hurt when we split. The dialogue was there, but the meaning was the same. Why aren’t we together? In the words of Jarad, Wednesday night became the beginning of a complete and honest MindF*ck.
We ended Wednesday night, or rather Thursday morning, with several innocent kisses, innocent but deadly to me… Jarad and I kissed like we had trained each other the perfect way to kiss. There are some guys that when you kiss for the first time, it’s a little awkward – you have to adjust to the way they kiss and train them to adjust to you, you have to give and take and learn when they are going to peck or open or play. It’s always been somewhat of a learning process with other guys. But with Jarad it was always perfect… we kissed like we were dancing, always in tune with the next step.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thursday was Thanksgiving Day and I spent the morning and early afternoon with my family, enjoying good food, and being entertained by my little cousins. I learned that they are extremely intelligent, a lot smarter than I was at the age of 4- at least I think. I ended up taking Grandma back home to North Bend in the early evening and in the back of my mind couldn’t help but get excited about the fact that I might get to see Jarad again since I was back in the little town. After unsuccessfully trying to nap at Grandmas house and realizing that even after only 4 or so hours of sleep, I couldn’t begin to drift off with the TV that loud. I got up, and decided to drive into the little town of North Bend..
After stopping at the “Mini Mart” and buying a pop, I text Jarad, told him I was in town and went cruising around while I waited for his response. I turned up my music and let myself go, no plans, no intentions, just drove around the little town. I went by my high school, I went by my church, my friends old houses, I cruised what we called the “figure 8” in high school, the little route that all the kids drove while trying to find their friends and find the party.
Finally, I parked at the high school, in the spot where Jarad and I always parked because we never got to school early enough to park in the good spots. I text Jarad and asked that he meet me there. He came and we sat in my car for an hour and again just went back and forth sharing our stories from the past three years and remembering all the stories we shared before that.
He needed to get back to his families thanksgiving events and he asked that I stop and say Hello, as I had done many times years ago. I used to be a part of that family, but this time it seemed a little different. Granted, I hadn’t shown my face to them in three years and things really were different, I got the feeling that they knew I had hurt Jarad once and therefore it would take a little more effort on my part, than to just show up at a family event, if I wanted back in the beautiful and loving cult that is the Chrisman family. I stayed for a cup of coffee, said my hellos and how are you’s and then decided I should go back to my own family. Jarad and I agreed we would meet up later that night in Fremont for drinks.
Current
From there, we spent time together, we went through the ups and downs of beginning a new relationship that was once an old relationship, we learned about the new things and the new people we had both become and we realized that a lot of things about each other hadn’t changed. Jarad and I dated from this point on, after a couple of months of him referring to me as his “friend” to anyone we met, I finally started joking with him and asking if someday he was going to take the next step and make me his Girlfriend, in true Jarad style he gave me the “check yes or no” option in a card on Valentine’s Day. It was very sweet, and he had already checked yes for me! I told him that even in his greeting cards he was pushy, but that I loved him anyway and it was about time we made it official. So three months of ‘dating’ and now it’s been almost 3 months of gf/bf – which to be honest although we have grown in those six months, there wasn’t much change from the first three to the last three, it was more of just a comforting thought to know that both of us were committed.
That is our ‘to be continued’ story… for those of you who might be interested or are at the very least a romantic at heart :)
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