In a Perfect World...

Just a slower day at work, leaving me with to much time for the wheels in my head to turn, twist, break, and rebuild.

I've got a terrible desire to be out in the country, like worse than normal, like I want to run out of work and drive straight out to corn fields, grain bins, and fresh air. I don't know why the feeling today is so extreme, but I got to thinking about what I would be doing in a perfect world, and right now I would be digging in a garden outside my home, which in a perfect world would be my Grandparents house. I wouldn't be worrying about how to pay my bills, I would be worrying about the vegetables that I need to grow in order to live off of them and give them to neighbors. I don't want to spend money on fast food anymore, I want to have chickens for eggs, and a garden for vegetables, why not have a cow every year and keep a freezer full of meat? I just think about all the ways I want to live off of my own hard work...

Every Morning when I get just a taste of that fresh morning air, all I can think about is being outside all morning... Doing something on my little farm to provide for myself and the people I love.

It is official, I am supposed to be out in the country, the city life is cramping my style... I appreciate the opportunities and the things I've learned, but now I just count down the days until I can breathe fresh air again.

Ok bear with me as I travel even deeper into dreamy dream land...

I think about how much I love my grandparents house, and how the land it is on has been in my family for over 110 years, I think my Grandma and I figured 117 last time we checked. My Grandpa's parents built a house and lived there, then my Grandma and Grandpa, then my parents right down the road, I want to keep that land and I want to plant my own memories there. I think about how perfect that place would be for me and .... "My signifigant other" ( I don't want to sound too crazy in planning who my husband will be, but I'm quite sure you can guess who is in my farm fantasy)

There is so much room, there are big yards, big trees, big buildings for all the big projects you know who is always working on. There is history and there is work to be done.

So here is a thought that crosses my mind... I talk myself out of it, but it always comes back.

My Grandma is out on that farm by herself right now, and while we would all like to assume that she will be ok by herself, I often wonder why I'm not there with her, they pay someone to drive her around and everyone knows I would gladly do that, there is SO much I could learn from her, I could learn to plant my garden with her supervision, I could try to work part time too, and I could have time to write... write and write and write... being in the country has always inspired words to come to me easier... less distraction, less noise.. Obviously I would need to work to continue to pay off medical bills, etc... but if I didn't have to pay rent it would save a lot. What keeps me from starting this dream?

WHY CAN'T I BE IN JEANS, T-SHIRT, AND A BASEBALL CAP, DIGGING IN THE DIRT RIGHT NOW?

Pura Vida

I have a lot to say about the battle of illeagal immigrants and especially the ordinance that thankfully was not passed in my home town of Fremont. I think everyone is entitled to there own opinion and I respect those who are able to voice it in an educated and professional manner. I also live my life assuming everyone is good, until they prove me wrong, no matter what color their skin is, what language they speak, etc. Yes there are things that Mexican families do that get on my nerves, Yes there are things that White families do that get on my nerves, Yes there are things that Black families do that get on my nerves. Every person deserves a chance to make their lives better and if I can help them do that, I will, and if the people of Fremont can help them do that, they should. Expect that everyone you see and everyone you meet is a good person, and more often they will embrace rather than dissapoint. For a moment replace your best friend with someone who illeagally came to America, they have the same personality, the same love in their hearts, the same morals and values, but they have darker skin and illegally are here trying to live a better life.

Would you tell your friend to leave because they are breaking the law? Or would you offer assistance in order to for your friend to become legal and continue their pursuit of success?

Positive reinforcement, reward those who are working and building a future, assist them, and live in a community that embraces diversity and unity.

Here is a collage of pictures from the City Council Meeting, it is truely a part of history.

Un Mundo, Una Viva, Una Sangre - One World, One Life, One Blood

For Vicki

I've been reading Vicki's blog for quite a while now, and I've noticed how everytime she posts a picture of her flowers, or flowers she sees somewhere, I'm instantly attracted to the bright colors and the quality of the picture. I went back and "took" the pictures from her blog and played with them, I've been using my creative outlet lately to release some stress and all the colors and the way the flowers responded to different design technique was fantastic, I had to combine them all and of course show it to Vicki- Thanks for noticing flowers, taking pictures of them for me to enjoy, and overall thru your blog, letting us all take time to stop and "smell the roses"!

More Projects

I don't know why, but I've been addicted to colors lately... here are some designs I've been playing with, since I downloaded a new design program.

Project

I almost forgot! I wanted to post a random project I whipped up the other afternoon- I'm not sure how well it will post on here, so just in case you can't see it, the writing in the background are quotes from things I've written about Jarad and I...

Just a Tuesday...

It is Tuesday, which means it's a 9 and a half hour day for me at work, by choice. Yep, crazy I know, but if I work 9.5 hour days on Tue & Wed then I only have to work 6 and 7 hour days the rest of the week. I enjoy the change, and the fact that I'm done before 3pm on Fridays :)

I wish I had some crazy awesome exciting things to post, but ultimately - work is good, love is good, life is good :)

I'm attempting to think of some kind of long weekend get-a-way for Jarad and I.. our 'technical' ( I say technical because we've actually been together 9 months but it took him 3 months to ask me to be his girlfriend, ha) so our technical 6 month anniversary is August 14th and my birthday is August 19th, so we are planning to take a day off around that weekend of the 15-17th and go somewhere, or do something, we just haven't decided what that is yet!

Jarad mentioned Kansas City, worlds of fun, etc... which would be fun I'm sure, but I don't know... I almost want something more our style, something outdoors, laid back, I've considered camping, but I don't know where and Jarad has expressed a lack of excitment for sleeping on the ground... ha

Then we talked about possibly going to visit one of his friends in Texas and taking a couple more days off to extend the vacation and visiting my family in Texas as well.. this would definately be a fun trip, but a little more costly then I had anticipated and might be less us time and more friends family time, which wouldn't really be a bad thing, but not exactly our original intentions of the weekend.

I can think about it and plan till I'm blue in the face, but ultimately I've known Jarad long enough now to know that the random spur of the moment things are a little more his style - examples, heading to Bonesteel SD randomly on a Saturday... and to be completely honest I love that about him... spontinaity is always welcomed in my life.

However, I love to dream... so I've got the wheels turning.. dreaming of where we could go, where we'd want to go, and possibly if we'd want to go anywhere at all... who knows what we will end up doing, but I have no doubt that if it's with Jarad, I'll enjoy it!

Gosh, this day is dragging... it's not even 11am and I feel like I've been here forever! Oh well, I'm not really complaining.. it's been a long time since I've had a slow day at work, I'll find some sort of project to start on and before I know it, It will be 5:30pm and time to head home :)

Time Flys When You get Older...

I'm having a slow day at work, and I figured I'd write about some things I've been thinking about and some things Jarad and I have talked about recently. Making notes of interesting facts and life observations has proved beneficial to me. I'll either read this in a couple months and be like Wow! what was I thinking, or I'll read it and feel inspired by something I did or said, or it will make me smile... simply remembering the little things.

So after Old settlers weekend, and seeing all the people from our small little town, we got to talking about how fast time goes now that we are older. Think about it like this, High school was four years and it seemed like the longest most intense and important part of your life, it was four years but seemed like such a huge portion of who you were and who you are.

Now, I've been out of High school for five years, those five years haven't seemed like defining moments of my life, they flew by and tho I could probably tell you a few substantial things I did in the last five years, it's nothing like "the highschool days" - It seems like not that long ago I was running through the halls of NBC.... however, I was at Wesleyan for three years and it feels like I haven't been there forever, a distant memory of a few teachers and a few cool kids.

This probably isn't the case for everyone, some people truely embraced college and I say more power to them, I embraced high school and enjoyed college, but I was on a mission to get a degree and make money after high school. Of course I did my fair share of the "college experience" - partying, dating, etc... I was involved in things and I loved Wesleyan, but for some reason- it still isn't as crucial as the years at North Bend Central.

Even in college, time didn't seem to escape me like it does now that I'm in the work force. I haven't quite grasped why this is yet. It seems like now that we work at least five days a week for about 8 hours a day, I lose my hold on what day it is, what month it is, and how quickly this week will be over and rent will be due again. Maybe that is why time seems to go faster, we have more specific dates we worry about, we worry about paying bills on time, we worry about making deadlines at work, and between all this trying to make sure we do things ON time, we lose track of it.

Another example of how quickly time goes by- In high school if you dated someone for a couple months, that was pretty serious, I mean If you went to the prom in May with the same person you went to the sweetheart dance with in February, then everyone knew you were definately serious and even to you it was serious... but now that I'm older... I've been dating Jarad since November, about eight months give or take- In the real world that isn't that serious.. I mean it is to me, and I hope and assume it is to him... but when you are 23 and you tell someone you've been dating you boyfriend for 8 months, they say, "Oh you have plenty of time, it's still pretty new" but in High School 8 months was nearly the entire school year and people would say, "They are getting pretty serious" - I don't know, I supposed the change makes sense with the way society changes, and the way our minds and attitudes change as we get older.. but it still seems very overwhelming.

Overall, even tho time is flying by me- I'm pretty content and confident in my choices and happy with my life. I'm finally getting settled into the new apartment, it was starting to feel like I'd never get through all the random boxes (and I still havent) but there might be a light at the end of the tunnel! haha

Jarad is spectacular, everyday he does something that surprises me, it could be thoughts about taking his mom off roading, or going on a walk together, or taking me out to dinner when I wasn't expecting it...he has come thru a lot for me lately with all the help I've needed in cleaning a house and downsizing to an apartment. Overall, I'm very very lucky.