Queen of his Double Wide Trailer

Yep, That song is in my head, and yes I love it.

So far, so good today... Dennis accepted my explanations about my feelings for him... I told him they didn't exist, I was not and never going to be in love with him, and I would like to keep him as a part of my life in the future, because I believe he is an amazing person. Friends like him are hard to come by, BUT, It is very clear to me that I must find a compromise with Jarad, he has a lot of very good reasons to dislike Dennis and thus it puts a very big stress on me.

I guess at this point I am willing to give up quite a bit for that challenging man, but I do expect him to come my way just a little, we will work on building trust and having faith, we have the passion and love for each other, the rest of the things we will build with each other, a project I would give anything for.

It's basically this simple, Jarad and I are good for each other, he pushes me to learn new things, to be a better person, to not think that I know it all, he isn't easy, and I love it. People may think I'm crazy, but last year has been one of the best for me, I've grown so much as a person, and I hope that Jarad has realized a little bit of that about himself. I still believe we are meant to be, I just know now that nothing is quite as fairytale as we would all like to believe it to be.

Sigh- now the waiting begins, I've even gained a little more paitence since before... I'm not saying that I want to wait or even that I like it, but at least I know that it's not the end of the world and it doesn't mean he doesn't care if he needs a little time. I still hope it's not too much time! :)

Ok, so the truth is out. I still don't know what will happen, but I still miss him, and I still hope we have a chance in the future.

<3