A Busy Day

I had a little time, while I wait for my boss to bring me a pile of things to process... so I figured why not give you a little update.

Jarad came over yesterday, and like usual.. when I think and hope he will be over to my house around 5ish, he shows up around 8pm. I just get so frustrated because when I think we have made definate plans, he calls and says "so what's going on, do you want me to stop by?"

I guess I just need to accept that reliability isn't one of his strong points right now and a lot of that has to do with work, and his dedication to it. However, without realizing it he sort of dug himself in a hole because last night he was like, I set my own hours more or less, I just tell them what I'm going to do and when I'm coming in... and I think to myself, well if that's the case then how come you always have to work late when I have something important going on or when we have an evening planned? *sigh*

I just keep hoping something happens, something clicks for him, I've talked to him about some of this stuff, and now I just have to wait it out I guess.... The night overall ended well, he sort of got a second wind after being exhausted and starving, we relaxed for a bit and he ate some food and things got a little better... it's just that, well I didn't get a hug or kiss or any kind of affection till later on in the evening, sometimes I just want to yell "WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO KISS ME!!!" I know, it doesn't sound like a good sign, if the guy you want to date, hesitates on any kind of display of affection.. but again, I'm hoping he will eventually make a decision, either he wants me or he doesn't but I guess I will just have to be paitent..

Wait- what the hell am I saying?! If this were any other guy acting like this, I would have bailed weeks ago, I would have said "ok, I get the hint, you are just not that into me" - I wouldn't be talking about how I'm just going to sit around and wait for him to DECIDE if he likes me or not, I deserve some answers!!! But... well... it's Jarad.. the one and only... I'm pathetic, but I thought and still think, we are meant to be together :(