Continuing on...

In the small chance that you stumble across this blog and you don't know me, or anything about me, here is the cliff notes version of what is going on.


Jarad- is my best friend, I've known him since I was a skinny and incredibly naive Sophmore in high school, and I thought I ran the world. He was a skinny and incredibly dorky Freshman, who was more interested in his lawn mower than school. We were neighbors, and being the only kid left at home, I needed a friend that wasn't as demanding as the group of girls I hung out with. Anyway, long story short (I'll post that one later) - long story short, I couldn't imagine high school without Jarad, I believed that I was looking out for him, he was my little brother of sorts, but in retrospect... Jarad was doing a lot of looking out for me too, I just didn't realize it at the time.


Moving right along, Jarad and I tried to date at the end of his high school career, I was going into my sophmore year of college and he was graduating high school and trying to decide what to do with his life. I had just called off a relationship with my real high school sweetheart and I was an idiot, plain and simple, I didn't know what I wanted or how to get it, more or less a reckless body that was flailing my way through the days. Needless to say, it didn't work out that time around for Jarad and I and we both fled, not knowing how to go back to best friends after being bf/gf and the ultimate fact that Jarad was trying to love a train wreck, we split, and he hated me, with probably good reason, not exactly the reasons he thought he should hate me, but none-the-less I wasn't a good person to him then. Something I regret to this day.


Finally, that brings us to the present, that was three years ago and about two months ago (Thanksgiving Weekend) after not talking for almost three years, we ran into each other... Since that night, we haven't really been apart.. I mean we have obviously we don't live together or anything.. but I can't let go, I can't let him slip away again, and I definately cannot make the mistakes I did three years ago. From the minute we started talking that night, I knew he made me happy, happier than I had been in... well... three years... Obstacles present themselves to us, most definately... and the future? who knows... I know what I'd like, what I want, but I'm no physic and definately not a mind reader.. but I believe Jarad and I were brought back together for a reason, and I truely truely care for him.


He is sorta a big thing on my mind right now as I go through the motions of figuring him out, of thinking about us as a couple (which we are officially not..yet) and just trying to make sense of everything! So, you will be hearing about him often, I'm sure.